- **Intro/who I am**: - As a long-haired, bearded man, I might remind you of a malnourished Jason Momoa or a well-fed Jesus Christ . #personality *should get a laugh here so pause* Yes, like [[Jesus]], [[Aquaman]] is also brown. *should get a laugh here so pause* - But those same traits have also resulted in me being profiled as your average Taliban lackey. Shocking, right? I know! *should get a laugh here so pause* - **Setup for outro**: The 3 most common groups of people to [[profile me]] as a terrorist: - people on public transport (mostly in America); - immigration officers (only in America); and - my parents, who also happen to live in America. #ruleofthree *should get a laugh here so pause* - Yes, my [[parents]]- they are super -pro Donald Trump and, like any-midwestern American farmer, they are anti-immigration sentiment. -*should get a laugh here so pause* - [[COVID]] was kind to me in that I got to spend six months with them in India beginning in Winter. And then we parted ways in April, like a good jihadi family on our mission to spread the Delta. A family of bioterrorists, we are. - I got back 16 hours before the red listing and the immigration police didn't say a single thing. Not one look to [[profile me]]. Which makes sense because if you look at the most recent terrorist attacks in Britain, there are no beards. But surely, they should at least be worried about the bioterrorism, no? - I do love living in London though because people don't notice people on the tube. Not like in California, where I constantly got the stinkeye on public transport. - Which reminds me of this time when I took the train with a friend who also experienced the stinkeye. We were on an Indian train from Delhi to Rishikesh, which is a spot that people from all over the world visit for its hippie vibes and yoga teacher training.<s> If you’ve not been on trains in India and Thailand: basically you just have sets of benches facing each other</s>. So, we are on this train and a few stops from Delhi, some gay white dudes come on the train; they're a few seats down, laughing and being merry. But I notice that my friend is getting a little weird. I imagine it reminded her of California trauma so, I didn't bother getting into it. Now, a few stops later, two black dudes come on the train. I notice that my friend is getting more restless. India is no longer as open to homosexuality as it once was but this is a train to Rishikesh- super alternative so you can expect to see some openly gay people. A couple stops later, two Muslim dudes, yknow, big beards and a robe like mine, come on the train and they’re sitting right across from us. At this point, my friend’s just gets up and darts off with her bags. - **punchline**: Now, I know what you’re thinking: my friend is rude and intolerant. But I think she has a point: India is a free country and people can have any religious or sexual preference they want <s>it doesn’t matter your sexuality or skin color</s> but it’s just not alright to come on public transport. - **if no laughter then the meta-end**: My friends have found the repeat telling of that joke funnier. Quite biblical because its nearly just as good as the second "coming".